ANAM CARAS & KINDRED SPIRITS

Celebrating the Vital Role of Female Friendship in Life and Media

If you were lucky enough, one of your earliest social experiences was the bond with a best friend. For me, it was a girl named Katie. We met in preschool, and though I can’t remember much about her beyond fleeting memory reels—fuzzy snapshots jogged by faded ’80s Polaroids of two small girls holding hands by a Snoopy Water Play sprinkler or grinning at each other instead of the camera in a class photo outtake. Katie remains a pivotal touchpoint in my life’s story. Like many relationships, it ended in heartbreak when her military family was stationed far away. But the spark of that connection beyond family touched my soul, teaching me that there are safe spaces outside the nest I was born into where I could be seen—and loved.

I’ve always been a one-BFF kind of girl, and I still am. I thrive on intimate connections without the mental acrobatics and subtle competition that often accompany larger groups of women. In these close bonds, I’ve found the space to discover who I am and what truly matters to me.

This special connection is beautifully captured in John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom. He writes:

In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. One of the fascinating ideas here is the idea of soul-love. The old Gaelic term for this is anam cara. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul, and cara is the word for friend… In this love, you are understood without mask or pretense… Love is the only light that can truly read the secret signature of the other person’s individuality and soul. Love alone is literate in the world of origin; it can decipher identity and destiny.

I have a deep appreciation for the literary and cinematic portrayals of female friendships that capture depth, soul, and humor, as the stories we tell and engage with profoundly influence how we shape our lives.

In media certain archetypes of female friendships stand out, offering a lens through which we can recognize and celebrate these bonds. Let’s explore some iconic depictions of this distinct connection:

KINDRED SPIRITS
These are the forever soul sisters. Whether they live next door or you’ve lost touch over the years, they share a spiritual DNA that transcends time and space. They’re the unicorns—the once-in-a-lifetime connections. Like a romance, these friendships can burn so brightly that they’re sometimes too intense to last forever. Yet, they remain a touchstone, setting the bar for every other relationship.

Literary/Cinematic Representation: Anne and Diana (Anne of Green Gables)

OPPOSITES ATTRACT DUO
At first glance, this pair seems unlikely, with little in common on the surface. But when you find someone whose strengths complement your weaknesses—and who adds a bit of surprise and tension—you’ll never be bored.

Cinematic Representation: Mary & Rhoda (The Mary Tyler Moore Show); Issa & Molly (Insecure)

RIDE OR DIE
This is a friendship built on unwavering loyalty. It’s honest, tried, and true. No matter the circumstance, you’ll weather it together—do or die.

Cinematic Representation: Thelma & Louise; Meredith & Cristina (Grey’s Anatomy)

THE HEALING COMPANIONS
This friendship serves as an emotional sanctuary, offering comfort, support, and nurturing. A transformative bond if both take turns playing the mothering role.

Cinematic Representation: Jen & Judy (Dead to Me)

LIFELONG CONFIDANTS
A bond formed in youth, rooted in shared memories and growing pains, that spans decades and distance.

Cinematic Representation: Jess & CeCe (New Girl); Romy & Michele

As we grow older and our focus shifts to romantic partners, careers, and—for some—children, it’s vital to nurture our female friendships. These women are the lifelines outside of our hectic worlds, they are the feminine reprieve we need amid a culture held captive with second and third-wave feminism ideals that reward women who imitate men, (and men who imitate women) instead of honoring what makes us unique.

So, cheers to your Katies—your Sukis, Amys, Jillians, Sarahs, Barbs, and Shannons. May they always know how much they mean to you.