WHY WE NEED RITUALS

In a world of chaos, rituals provide order.

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Where do you seek solace amidst the squall? Is it through attending church every Sunday, praying the rosary, or finding peace in meditation? Perhaps it is immersing yourself in an ice bath or practicing deep breathing techniques. What are your rituals?

In my early adulthood each morning I would clear my head by sipping coffee and journaling. Sometimes, it was a simple escape from the chaos of my post-adolescent mind; other times, it sparked poetry or inspired characters drawn from people I observed at the local beach or train depot.

During this phase, I was deeply immersed in the stream-of-consciousness prose of Kerouac and captivated by Cassavetes' improvisational filmmaking — so I stumbled towards beatitude through caffeinated bursts of spontaneous inspiration.

Now, in my mid-40s, and raising two boys I find a different approach is needed at this time in my life. I no longer have the freedom for spontaneous meandering towards creativity or blissful revelations. My reading these days consists mainly of non-fiction that can be swiftly rejected or applied, and I tend to rewatch tried-and-true stalwarts of comfort programming after my kids are in bed to unwind, nothing too demanding. So, I must purposefully nurture both my imagination and spirituality.

A simple but important weekly ritual I’ve cultivated is indulging in a hot bath, candles lit — I say prayers, meditate, and sometimes indulge in super feminine Spotify playlists. I feel very grateful for the solace and quiet time dedicated to contemplation.

I also participate in a weekly writing session instructed by one of my oldest and dearest friends, who happens to be both a board certified psychiatrist, and a writer. Over Zoom, we gather with other women to share our thoughts written from poetry prompts. The atmosphere is one of pure sharing and listening, without any critique or workshopping allowed—just gratitude for the opportunity to connect.

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Storytelling itself is a ritual — humanity's oldest form of technology, engineered to warn the tribe of dangers and transmit ancestral tales that conveyed crucial life-or-death lessons. By adopting these patterns of behavior, we absorbed vital teachings that could be easily recalled later on.

Beyond survival, there are also scientifically proven mental and physiological benefits within common rituals like prayer, chanting, meditation and even fire-walking, according to anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas for NPR:

In the context of a fire-walking ritual in Spain, we found that during this ritual, people's heart rates synchronized. This was not just an effect of people moving at the same time. Their heart rates would synchronize no matter what they were doing at the same time. Some of them were walking on fire. Others were watching. And that shows that these rituals play a role in bringing the emotional reactions of the members of that community in alignment. And by aligning our appearances, aligning our motions, aligning our emotions, those rituals can actually lead to social alignment.

So it is no surprise, that during times of chaos, we are in most need of both community and ceremony.

The pandemic exposed this need in a tangible way. We were stripped of our day-to-day tasks like shopping for groceries untethered, meeting with our co-workers, and going out to eat; not to mention missing those meaningful touchstones of life and death — like walking in the graduation ceremony, or attending a grandparent’s funeral.

According to Caitlin O’Connell, Ph.D., and author of Wild Rituals:

Psychologists predict that the trauma people experience through physical isolation will be transgenerational. The coronavirus quarantine revealed our strong need for real human contact.

At the same time, it revealed the vital role our daily rituals play in our everyday lives. They became the anchors that grounded us during tragedy and that connected us to one another even across oceans.

Marriage ceremony over Zoom during the pandemic

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We take for granted our freedoms and the deep need for communion until they are gone. Therefore, it is crucial to develop steadfast practices that support us not only in times of calm but also in times of turmoil.

Establishing soulful liturgies requires dedication and regularity; their repetition creates a guiding pattern that steers us towards stability when the world seems chaotic. These rituals connect us to our community and God — to Beauty, Truth, and Goodness — and they save us from being swept away to any port in the storm.

Painting by Sean Maguire